A Guide to Cinema Etiquette
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
, Posted by Should I See It at 7:33 PM
Please note the following article is based on real life experience. No fictionalisation has taken place.
The experience of watching a movie is simultaneously isolating and social. It is an isolating experience, because it is extremely personal- you are receiving and reacting to information, but you cannot vocally express your thoughts or feelings with anyone else. Yet at the same time it is a social experience- not only is the film maker sharing ideas with out, but you are sitting in a room full of other people.
My most recent outing to the cinema was one of the most horrible cinematic experiences of my life. And no, it wasn’t because of a bad movie. It was because of a bad audience. The rudeness of two particular audience members astounded me. I was so upset by their behaviour that I did the only thing I could do: write about it.
Watching a film for the first time is akin to a sacred experience. You only have one chance to watch a film for the first time, and why some people go out of their way to destroy that experience for others confounds me.
So in order to curb the crisis of awful manners in the cinema I have decided to write A Guide to Cinema Etiquette for the benefit of future cinema goers.
My most recent outing to the cinema was one of the most horrible cinematic experiences of my life. And no, it wasn’t because of a bad movie. It was because of a bad audience. The rudeness of two particular audience members astounded me. I was so upset by their behaviour that I did the only thing I could do: write about it.
Watching a film for the first time is akin to a sacred experience. You only have one chance to watch a film for the first time, and why some people go out of their way to destroy that experience for others confounds me.
So in order to curb the crisis of awful manners in the cinema I have decided to write A Guide to Cinema Etiquette for the benefit of future cinema goers.
Talking during a movie is strictly verboten. You may talk during previews, but not excessively loudly, some people actually want to watch them, and the subject of your conversation is of no interest to anyone other than you (sometimes it is also of interest to the person you are with).
As soon as the lights are fully down and the screen goes black and there is that moment where you KNOW the film is about to start, YOU MUST STOP TALKING. The cinema experience is sacred. It must not be interrupted by the sound of irrelevant chatter. Talking must not occur at any point during the film. (In the event of a heart attack, allergic reaction or situation similarly life threatening, this rule may be ignored).
PHONES
Phones should be switched off in the cinema, And I mean OFF. Not soft, not vibrate, not silent, but OFF. As in NO POWER. OFF.
No one wants to hear your ring tone, and no one wants to hear your phone vibrate in a particularly quite and/or intense scene.
If your phone rings- DON’T answer it. If you must answer it, please exit the cinema. For God’s sake don’t have a conversation while still in the cinema. It is just plain rude.
After the phone rings the first time, it should not happen again because once you have realised your error, you should switch your phone off.
Also, don’t send a text message- the light from your phone is distracting to others in the audience.
LATE ARRIVALS
The policy on arriving late to the cinema is simple: DON’T. It’s like a train. If you’re late: too bad, you’ve missed it. It sounds harsh, but the reasoning is simple: your late arrival is a distraction to everyone in the cinema.
FOOD IN THE CINEMA
I don’t know who the genius was that decided popcorn in the cinema was a good idea. Not only is it incredibly messy (it has a tendency to spill at the most inconvenient times in the most inconvenient places) but it is also incredibly noisy. No one should have to hear the awful sound of a hand rummaging through a Mega-Jumbo-Grande box of popcorn, or worse, the sound as it is crunched through horrendously rude teeth.
In the case of plastic wrappers: they should be opened prior to the commencement of the film. The choc top wrapper can often be quite tricky, so even if you don’t want to eat the ice cream straight away, it is best to open the wrapper before hand and then leave it in there until you are ready to do so.
If it is absolutely necessary to open something that has a plastic wrapper while the movie is in progress, it is best to do so as quickly as possible. Trying to be quiet only makes the noise worse. It is better to quickly distract then it is to completely destroy the cinema experience with the incessant rustling of plastic.
But seriously, you are in the cinemas for what, two hours? Surely you can survive without food for two hours. That’s why it’s called dinner AND a movie, not dinner IN the movie.
TOILETS
Go to the bathroom before the film starts. No one wants to be climbed over as you make your way out to the bathroom and then climbed over again as you make your way back to your seat. Similarly, no one in the rows behind you wants your head blocking their view as you climb over people on the way to the bathroom and then again as you climb over people on the way back to your seat.
If you have a weak bladder, do not drink a Super-Mega-Grande cup of soft drink during the movie. If you must do so, at least have the courtesy to sit on the end of a row.
KISSING
I didn’t think anyone had made out in a cinema since 1954, but how wrong I was! Firstly, DON’T. Or at least have the decency to sit in the back row and keep the sounds of sharing saliva to yourselves.
THE CLOSING CREDITS and EXIT ETIQUETTE
Believe it or not, some people actually like to watch the closing credits. If you are not one of those people, do not stand up and have a conversation in the middle of the cinema, blocking the view of the people sitting behind you. You should move as quickly and quietly as possible to the exit.
The discussion of a film should not begin until you have exited the building, mainly so you are not over heard by those with a far superior ability to critique films and thus preventing you from looking like an idiot whist airing your ill informed opinions.
So there you have it: A Guide to Cinema Etiquette. Now if we could just make sure that everybody followed these rules, we could make sure that every cinema going experience was a pleasant one.
Please note that variations of these rules of cinema etiquette also apply to plays, musical theatre, opera and orchestral performances.
Man, I hate bad audiences! Another couple of things people shouldn't do:
I don't care how funky the background music is, do NOT dance in your seat. It is distracting, and unless the person is exceptionally beautiful and a good dancer, it burns my eyes.
Likewise for people who sing along to the tune of something. I was in the Sydney Opera House listening to the Australian Youth Orchestra play Rachmaninov's Rhapsody on a theme by Paganini, and the glorious 18th variation (the famous one) was catastrophically ruined by about 20 pensioners around me who must have decided that it would be a musically enriching experience if they all hummed and sang along off-key. It wasn't. It ruined something I was really looking forward to.