New Moon Review
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
, Posted by Should I See It at 5:01 AM
Film: The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Director: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner
Plot: The second instalment in the Twilight Series. After her lover, Edward, abandons her, Bella Swann finds solace in her friend Jacob Black.
Saga: a series of events or a story stretching over a long period.
Well, at least the LONG PERIOD part of that definition is true of The Twilight Saga: New Moon. It goes FOREVER. And just when you think it is about to end… there’s still more. Of course they could cut the running time in half if they got rid of all the long shots of Kristen Stewart looking mopey!
And when did Twilight become s self important that it began to refer to itself as The Twlight Saga?
It just shows how delusional this whole ‘Twilight’ world is: it doesn’t even see that it is only an example of a less that mediocre being gobbled up by an people who genuinely don’t know any better.
I still find myself frustrated by the popularity of the Twilight series. Especially the films.
The films are characterised by poor production quality and scripts so lame that I can’t believe someone actually got paid to write that dialogue.
The acting is god-awful, The scenes where Bella wakes up screaming from nightmares in which she is old are hilarious! I hate to break it to you Bella, but those nightmares don’t affect only those girls with Vampires for boyfriends, they happen to all women over the age of twenty five.
Saga: a series of events or a story stretching over a long period.
Well, at least the LONG PERIOD part of that definition is true of The Twilight Saga: New Moon. It goes FOREVER. And just when you think it is about to end… there’s still more. Of course they could cut the running time in half if they got rid of all the long shots of Kristen Stewart looking mopey!
And when did Twilight become s self important that it began to refer to itself as The Twlight Saga?
It just shows how delusional this whole ‘Twilight’ world is: it doesn’t even see that it is only an example of a less that mediocre being gobbled up by an people who genuinely don’t know any better.
I still find myself frustrated by the popularity of the Twilight series. Especially the films.
The films are characterised by poor production quality and scripts so lame that I can’t believe someone actually got paid to write that dialogue.
The acting is god-awful, The scenes where Bella wakes up screaming from nightmares in which she is old are hilarious! I hate to break it to you Bella, but those nightmares don’t affect only those girls with Vampires for boyfriends, they happen to all women over the age of twenty five.
I also resent the film trying to ram down the audience’s throats that The Twilight Saga is the modern day equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. The Twilight books and films have none of the skill, imagination or fully drawn characters that any of Shakespeare’s works have. Why devalue Shakespeare by aligning it with this drivel?
The story is silly. The characters motivation doesn’t even make sense. Why would Edward, the only person who can protect Bella from the evil vampires, abandon her?
And why is it that none of the men in this film seem to be able to keep their shirts on? May i remind you that this is Washington State.! Not the Caribbean! At least Taylor Lautner is BUFF. Robert Pattinson without a shirt is gangly and weird!
The story is silly. The characters motivation doesn’t even make sense. Why would Edward, the only person who can protect Bella from the evil vampires, abandon her?
And why is it that none of the men in this film seem to be able to keep their shirts on? May i remind you that this is Washington State.! Not the Caribbean! At least Taylor Lautner is BUFF. Robert Pattinson without a shirt is gangly and weird!
Moreover, the message that it sends to young girls (the film’s target audience) is especially disconcerting.
New Moon basically tells young girls that if a boy loves you he will leave you, and not contact you, you will spiral into a deep, dark depression (which is okay, because that’s glamorous and people will understand that you are just a girl in love), then after putting you through hell he will come back and ask you to marry him. And you should say yes, despite the fact that a) he is a masochistic jerk, b) put you (and your family) through hell, and c) he is a member of the undead and every day he struggles with the desire to kill you.
New Moon basically tells young girls that if a boy loves you he will leave you, and not contact you, you will spiral into a deep, dark depression (which is okay, because that’s glamorous and people will understand that you are just a girl in love), then after putting you through hell he will come back and ask you to marry him. And you should say yes, despite the fact that a) he is a masochistic jerk, b) put you (and your family) through hell, and c) he is a member of the undead and every day he struggles with the desire to kill you.
Towards the end of the film, there is a scene when Bella is surrounded by the Volturi (sort of like ‘Royal Vampires’) and they are acting all creepy and threatening, and she is really scared hiding behind Edward. I couldn’t help but think to myself, ‘WWBD’. WHAT WOULD BUFFY DO?
Simple: Kick Ass.
Something Bella Swann is entirely incapable of doing.
I wonder how the actors felt when they were filming this, knowing that what they were doing was complete and utter crap.
Simple: Kick Ass.
Something Bella Swann is entirely incapable of doing.
I wonder how the actors felt when they were filming this, knowing that what they were doing was complete and utter crap.
Should I See It?
Absolutely not!
Absolutely not!
The Twilight Sage: New Moon Official Site here.
